My Favourite Christmas Present 2009

What did you get for Christmas? Was it good? Yeah, but was it as good as the greatest present in the world? Because I got that. That's right, I got an AZTEC Mini Fan/Light!

You can see some of the cool features below. My left thumb covers the on/off switch for the 12 x LED light, whilst on the right you can see the switch for the fan, complete with variable speeds of off, low, and high. More like off, excellent, and amazing!

The product itself has a heavy rugged feel to it, and it could easily be used to incapacitate a bear. I would recommend not carrying the AZTEC Mini Fan/Light more than a few feet, as you are likely to be overcome by exhaustion from the weight, but if this does happen, it comes with a handy built-in fold-out stand so you can be both cool and well lit while waiting for help.

Here is me enjoying the AZTEC Mini Fan/Light. I find the extreme brightness pleasing.

But what manner of magic is needed to make such a gadget work? Mere regular batteries will not suffice, surely they do not provide the awesome power needed for the unnatural combination of two of natures greatest elements. We must look then to the battery of the gods, the mighty Duracell Plus D Cell!

And not just one, but six! Six D Cell batteries? We see now that AZTEC Mini Fan/Light is not a toy, not even a casual gadget, but a weapon, a force for good or evil, whichever it's master chooses, with its six D Cell batteries, twelve LEDs and variable speed fan. These are not forces to be trifled with.

I stare at the AZTEC Mini Fan/Light, considering the havoc we could cause, the damage we could wreak, together, ruling over the lands, unstoppable, given enough spare batteries. I have become consumed with the power, my ego inflated beyond reasonable bounds, my heart burning with desire for all the things my AZTEC Mini Fan/Light can bring me.

But what's this? The AZTEC Mini Fan/Light is turning on me! It doesn't want to be used in this way. I have been given the choice between good and evil, and I have chosen wrongly, so I must be destroyed.

But the AZTEC Mini Fan/Light is forgiving. It shows me the light, and blows air towards me at two different speeds until my soul has been cleansed. I begin life anew: A true Christmas miracle.

I love you AZTEC Mini Fan/Light.